Providing a Birthday to Remember

Today is Mommy's birthday and in honor of this festive occasion, I have pulled all the stops to make sure it was one that she won't forget for a long, long....super long time. Mommy says I have scored an A+ for my efforts although perhaps a bit misguided.

Her day had the recipe ingredients for a good start. The first ingredient being that Jonah slept through the night for the very first time. But her glory was short lived. You see, we still don't have doors up. It's a long story but there is the fact: no doors. So when Daddy gets up super early in the morning to get ready for work, there is no door to block the sound of the shower. This didn't wake up Jonah but got him tossing around. And as Mommy was trying so desperately to sleep in and enjoy the full-nights rest, the fact that we don't have a door to block the bathroom light that falls directly onto her, was making a her plan to enjoy her beauty sleep somewhat difficult.

But the door factor comes into play a little further. You see, we don't have doors up for Mommy and Daddy's bedroom either that leads to kitchen. And when Daddy was making his lunch, he kind of forgot to be quiet and was opening the kitchen cabinets and pantry like normal. Except it was really loud...which woke up Jonah. Mommy was slightly disappointed about the lack of a few more minutes sleep but dealt with it...after all, Jonah had slept through the entire night so no big deal. Right?

Wrong. Jonah woke up hopping mad. Not just a little mad. We're talking screaming, kicking, and full of drama. Nothing was going to cheer him up. Nothing. And wouldn't you know, all that commotion woke me up too. And I'm not the happiest camper either. Thanks Dad.

So after a very sincere apology, Daddy left (Mommy would have too if she could) and there we are. Three sleepy, crabby people. Did I mention that we are still teething too?

Mommy finally gets us calmed down an hour later and settled for breakfast. Things go smoothly except that Jonah is just really not happy and doesn't want to be set down. Mommy goes to give him a bottle and wouldn't you know, they are nowhere to be found. "Grr" says Mommy. I got my breakfast with one hand while Mommy holds Jonah with the other.

She finally resorts to the TV. The mechanical babysitter which works! Hooray. Mommy can finally put us kids down and we both settle in to watch a little Signing Time and Wiggles videos. But Mommy made the mistake of leaving the room for a minute to go to the bathroom. While she was gone, I managed to get my pants off and go poo. And I love my poo. Poo, Poo, Poo. After Mommy gets out of the bathroom, that is what she finds. Poo. And it is everywhere.

Here is a list of all the places I managed to play with the poo:
1. I painted Jonah's face. (Mommy thought that was disgusting too)
2. I painted the TV.
3. I got creative on the carpet.
4. I got even more artistic on the kitchen floor.
5. The couch...no problem.
6. Did I miss anything? Nope. 'Cause I probably got that too. The walls, a picture frame, you name it. It was now officially decorated in poo.

This is where Mommy inserts a Bible Verse. Ephesians 4:9. She had JUST studied this verse which states: "Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those that listen." When she discovered the poo, it is safe to assume that she counted to ten, recited this verse, and then swore in such a manner that would have made Grandpa proud. He's a marine, ya know.

So while swearing, crying, and just plain pissed off at this point, Mommy begins to give us kiddos baths. Jonah and I go into the tub fully clothed. She then barricades me into the playroom with a baby-gate and starts to clean up the mess that I have created. She even breaks the mop (more swearing).

While trying to soothe Jonah and clean up the rest of the poo, the phone rings. It's Daddy. He's calling to tell Mommy that a door installer is coming RIGHT NOW to measure for our new screen doors we ordered. Mommy wasn't too happy with that. Nope. Not happy. And my speech therapist is coming too. Nope. Mommy was not happy.

Can you believe that in five minutes, twice the amount of time it took me to create the chaos, Mommy managed to clean most of the mess, take a shower (she was covered in it too), and get cranky Jonah down for a nap? It was a record. Mommy moves fast to begin with but this was lightening speed.

Just in time, right as Mommy was finishing cleaning, the therapist and the door installer show up. Literally at the very same time. Mommy was breathless but thankfully, the installer was someone that she has worked with before and the therapist was very understanding at her frantic nature. She didn't even mention the smell. Thank you, H!

Now it is off for a nap. But when Jonah and I get up, I'm sure there is more in store for Mommy. We absolutely, positively do not want her to forget this birthday. And we're off to a fabulous start. Don't you think?