Friday, August 08, 2008

Mommy's Bad Mood

NOTE: BEFORE YOU READ THIS know that it is about a therapy session we had yesterday. For those in the same county as us, Mommy still thinks that this therapist is very skilled at what she does. Mommy will not name this therapist nor will she tell you if you ever ask.

Mommy is in a really, really, really....REALLY bad mood. She kind of hinted that yesterday did not go well but there is more to that. One of our therapists, whom Mommy was so excited to get me into and highly respects, told Mommy that she should take parenting classes. Let's just say Mommy didn't take kindly to this.

A little background. Jonah and I have been terrors. Literally. I keep pushing, biting, and hitting my brother and in return, he is throwing such horrible temper tantrums, that Mommy has bruises. Yesterday was no exception and during my therapy session, I was inattentive, combatitive, and hit/pushed my brother while ignoring the therapist. Mommy was exhausted from a few nights of very little sleep and was slow to react. The therapist reacted first.

Also, Daddy has been gone for a lot over the past two months and so Mommy has literally been trying to handle all of the therapies, doctors appointments, medical insurance paperwork, etc all by herself. To Daddy's credit, when he got this promotion to be Chief in the Navy, he didn't know it would be such a huge and extensive training period. He literally has not had a day off in two months. He comes home. Sleeps for a few hours. Leaves. Today we saw him for 15 minutes.

Back to us. Mommy is trying to handle all the things at home, plus our terrible two phase gone ballistic. She's literally at her wits end. Then she found out that Daddy has yet another training class and will not be able to make my surgery. She's pretty upset about that. She's already tired trying to curb our every-growing bad behavior and then this particular therapist ( on our third visit) decided to give her a well-intended lecture on how she should spend $115 and go to a community college class on parenting a two-year old. It pushed Mommy over the edge. Literally. Given our behavior, Mommy was already feeling like a second-class parent. Now, she's being told it.

After my therapy session, Mommy held it together until she got to the car. As soon as she got to the car in the parking lot, she started bawling. She cried in the car driving all the way to Children's Hospital for my pre-operative appointment. She cried when we were late for the appointment. At the appointment, I pinched the nurse and screamed when they tried to take my blood pressure. Then Mommy went and picked up Jonah at Grandma and Grandpa's house. He'd been an Angel for them. For her, he's been a nightmare. All of it is really putting Mommy down. She's mad. She's sad. She's all of it. She's cried a lot yesterday.

Today, Mommy called and canceled all my appointments with that therapist. Mommy fully understands that this therapist was well-intentioned. But it was bad timing on her part. She is a new therapist with us and should get to know a parent a little bit better before dealing that kind of consulation out. But she didn't. Maybe she's right and Mommy does need the parenting classes. Our behavior would certainly indicate that she does. But for now, Mommy is dealing with things as best she can. If the therapist had known her better, Mommy might not have taken her advice so harshly but she didn't so in Mommy's opinion, that kind of consultation was extremely premature. She should have waited to see what kind of discipline Mommy has been working on (and she's tried several things) but she didn't and that is why Mommy is angry.

Mommy knows that cancelling all my appointments with this therapist might be a 'knee-jerk' reaction but that was her decision. So now we are on the waiting list now for a couple of other places. It will be a couple of months before I can get in to see someone else in this field but for now, this is the decision that Mommy has made. She'll use this extra time in our schedule to maybe become a better parent. Obviously, she needs it.


Ang said...

((((Kristy))) You are so overwhelmed with life right now..Doing what is best for each of the boys, Ray and last yourself. I'm so sorry you are going through this. i wish I had more hands and was able to help out right now..Know that I am sending up prayers for you and your family. Hugs and love

Molly said...

Kristy I'm so sorry !! Here is a hug from me:

I wish there is something I could do. I agree with you, that she was so premature in judging without knowing your background. Maybe she had a bad day as well !!! you should let her read your blog.

Eva and her 'rents said...

Oh, Kristy. My heart goes out to you and all you have to deal with every single moment of your days. I'm thinking of you and sending you thoughts of love, strength, patience and endurance. XO

Carolyn said...

Evidently this therapist doesn't have any children. She needs a swift kick in the you know what. I sure wish I lived closer so my arms could hug you all and help out. {{{Kristy}}} you are doing an awesome job, we all know that you are there for your family.
Love & Prayers,
Carolyn in WV

skeybunny said...

I'm impressed you held it together as long as you did--I probably would have started crying right then and there.

However well meaning this therapist was, I think she should really think about what she said to you. Parenting classes at the community college...really??? I would be willing to bet if you did go, you would be the only one with a special needs kiddo. And the bottom line is that a lot of the rules just go out the window when you have communication issues. How can punishment and consequences be effective if you can't even get across the basic idea of doing something wrong (if you have an answer to that one, please share!). It sounds like you admit you could use some help, but that kind of "help" would be a waste of time--time that could be better spent parenting.


JAYNA BEAN said...

Kristy: you are a saint. You live your life with strength and grace. You always have an ear for your friends and give and give and give and have patience I can't begin to fathom. I don't think your reaction was "knee jerk" at all. Some of the best decisions I have made have come quickly during a time of chaos. I am proud of you!!!

Tommy's mommy said...

Oh my!

I'm sorry you had to listen to her comment. Hang in there.

You are a wonderful mommy!